Weddings are a minefield when it comes to social etiquette. So if you’ve got a case of ‘bridal brain’ and need help with deciphering the dos and don’ts of your big day, read on … here are three common queries sorted. Stand by for more wediquette Q&As coming soon too.

• Q. Should guests bring their gifts to the wedding itself?

  A. Years ago, tradition dictated that wedding presents were never brought to the church or reception on the big day. Instead, they were hand-delivered by each guest to either the bride’s parents’ house or the bride’s home (a couple of weeks before the wedding usually). But times have changed – now that so many brides have online gift registries, most presents are delivered by the registry company in one big lot. If guests choose not to use the gift registry, however, it is likely most of them will bring their gift to the wedding itself for sheer convenience. So it makes good planning sense to have a spare table set up at the reception to accommodate all those silver-wrapped boxes!

• Q. Is it OK to ask your bridal party to pay for their outfits?

  A. This one is not set in stone. In days gone by, when the bride’s family always paid for the wedding, the bridesmaids’ dresses would be added to the tab. But now that so many couples are funding their own weddings, there is much more acceptance of bridesmaids and groomsmen paying for their own outfits. As the bride, however, it is only fair to spell this out to your bridal party from the start – that is, when you ask them to be a bridesmaid, you need to mention the possible costs they will be expected to cover. This means they won’t feel ‘trapped’ and awkward about the situation, and can decline the honour if their budget won’t stretch far enough. Another idea is to discuss paying for half the dress cost each.

• Q. Do you have to invite your friends’ kids?

  A. No, you do not. Just because you are inviting a couple with children, doesn’t mean they can decide to bring them to the church and reception without your approval. The exception here is for babes in arms, of course. If guests ask if they can bring their children to the wedding, and you and your fiancé have firmly decided against it, don’t mince your words. Tell your friends politely that it’s an adults-only occasion, and offer to provide some babysitting recommendations if they’re coming from out of town.